You Are A Married Man And Don't Wear Your Wedding Ring

A true douche is the man who is always open to possibilities by not wearing their wedding ring. While their wives are home taking care of their snot nose brats, the man is still trying to play the field.

You Swoop Your Hair To Cover A Bald Spot

You have to be a douche to be bold enough to try to cover something that is still so obvious. A non-douche would either shave their head or embrace their baldness and go with it. We all know that Trump is the ultimate douche and I think we all know the source of it.

You Think A Mustache Is The Only Acceptable Form Of Facial Hair

Mustaches are so gross. It is common among d bag business people to say that you cannot have a beard at your place of employment. How douchey is it to think that a mustache is the way to look like a classy person.

... You Part Your Hair On The Right

Ever seen someone part their hair to the right. You'll see nearly all people who part their hair will part it on the left. Find the rare right parter and you'll find the d-bag of the day.